Do You Have a Favorite?

Do you have a favorite child?  Should you feel guilty if you tend to like one child more than another? What about your spouse?  Recently Giuliana Rancic has been criticized for declaring that she puts her marriage before her child.  Many critics have ostracized her for ranking her love of her husband higher than her love for child. However I can't say I disagree.

Can you really rank the measure of your love?  I love my parents and siblings on a completely different level than my husband and children.  However, if anything were to happen to any of them I would be just devastated.  So what does that mean? Is it possible to measure the level of your grief? 

I ask these questions because I am having family time with my little ones.  My daughter has decided that she needed time with her mother all by herself, away from her daddy and brother.  We needed girl time.  Well that allowed my son and husband to have one-on-one time to do whatever it is that guys do. 

At the thought of this isolated time my son began to protest.  He wanted time with his mommy first.  He cried harder at the idea that he had to spend time with his dad.  "I don't want him, I want you", Nate cried. 

I can't help but think this hurt my husbands feelings.  However, both kids tend to compete over time with their mom.  My husband tells me that I have been so busy over the past few years that they jump at the chance to spend time with me.  This revelation adds to my mommy guilt.  Am I too busy to spend quality time with the kids and is this adding to their constant need to compete for my attention?

Or, is there another answer.  Perhaps I am their favorite.  Maybe they just like spending time with me more than dad.

Now panic is starting to take over.  I am having a hard time with trying to balance time with my son, daughter and husband.  Who comes first, the rooster or the eggs?   I want to spend time with my husband and work on our relationship, but that's hard to do when my four-year-old is playing with my face like its an origami hand puppet. 

Do I love my kids more than my husband?  Is that possible?  Do I spend enough time with my husband so that we are showing our kids that we have a committed relationship and mutual love for one another above all others?

I needed answers and decided to ask the kids.

Interview with Nate:

Question: Nathan I am going to ask you a very serious question? Are you listening?

Answer: Yes. 

Question: I need to know from you, what makes a good mommy and daddy? 

Answer: "You have to be kind to each other, and nice and respectful to each other.  Mommy and daddy don't fight each other or don't spank each other.   They have to be nice to little kids and God too.  They love each other, and hug each other and kiss on the cheek."

Question: Ariana should parents love each other more than their kids?

Answer: "I can't make that decision because I don't know.  Parents should like each other more than the kids, because you guys made us and we wouldn't be here if you didn't like each other.  That's just my idea."

The Resolve:

I guess I am worried for no reason.  My kids have taught me that the relationship I have with my husband is a blessing to them.  They aren't competing for their dad's attention.  They are watching us and learning from us.  Deep sigh.....now on to the next hurdle!