I had an epiphany today.
Childless women in the work force have a completely different perspective
on life than working mothers. For the
majority of women who work and have the pleasure of being mothers (without a
staff) there is an unspoken understanding of the battles fought and won before
8 am.
Take
for instance my lovely angels, Ariana and Nate.
I simply ask, why must I referee a shouting match between the two, where
Nate (the four-year-old) is telling Ariana (the soon to be eight-year-old) that
“she is not his mother or the teacher” and therefore cannot “tell him how to
brush is teeth” at 6:15 am?
Why is
it every morning, it takes my otherwise intelligent daughter, 25 minutes to dry
off after her morning bath and put on her underwear or any other piece of
clothing? Surprisingly enough, even if I
make her go to bed early, wake up early, lay her clothes out the night before, or
take her bath the night before, the end result really doesn’t change. After telling her to get dress, I literally
have to follow-up every two to three minutes, for 25 minutes to make sure each
piece of clothing is on. “Why”, I ask?
I am so
glad we are past the days where my youngest would be completely dressed and
ready to go, my daughter fully ready with back pack in hand and I even managed
to pull myself together, only to turn around and find my then two-year-old son,
with his shoes and socks off and sitting in the middle of the floor crying. Did they magically jump of his feet? How did he move so fast? Again, WHY?
I
thought I was in my own private hell, until I talked with other mothers. A friend in law school shared that one
evening her daughter made a special request for eggs the next morning. Wanting to do something special for her
little darling, she carefully laid everything out so her daughter could be
ready early enough and mom could make her eggs.
After mixing the ingredients together, my friend went into her pantry for
one more seasoning, only to turn around in time and witness her little darling spilling
the entire bowl of eggy goodness all over herself. As her kindergartner stood in the middle of
the kitchen crying, covered in her new beauty regimen, my friend instinctively
began to undress her, re-clean her, re-dress her, clean up the mess in the
kitchen and - you guessed it - make more
eggs. WHY?
These
are life’s challenges that only a working mother can truly appreciate. When we finally make it into the office, we
have been up since 5 am, refereed world-war three, negotiated peace treaties,
organized FEMA size disaster relief, managed to deliver our most prize
possessions to their institutions of learning (on time), and have arrived at our
employment destination just in time to grab a cup of Joe and begin round two.
So, all
we ask is that the world recognize true diplomacy, when our chipper X-chromosome
counterparts enter the break room (after having the leisure of getting only
themselves ready and perhaps catching the traffic report before
commuting into work) and we still have the decency to smile and say, "Good
Morning."
I do
recognize that this is the life we have chosen, so this is by no means a
woe-is-me dialogue. I simply felt it was
time to set the record straight. This is
the side of motherhood very few share.
Maybe we feel embarrassed or ashamed to share our frustrations. After all, everyone is always talking about
how great their kids are.
However,
here is what I have learned through it all.
God made our kids cute, so we can manage to hang on when they are really
working our last nerve. God made our
kids innocent, so we can overlook the challenges and understand our role serves
a higher purpose. God gave working
mothers other working mothers, so we can share our challenges and understand we
are not alone. And that is God’s honest
truth!
Sincerely,
Modern Mommy
