Ohh! You said “Ed – Words!

In Nate’s world, I am second in command.  Meaning he makes the orders and I am expected to carry them out.  This takes a lot of ingenuity for a two-year-old.

For example, when Nate decides that his father has done something worthy of a reprimand, he will come to me, with his big intent eyes and armed stretched behind him in the offenders direction saying, “Mommy, Dad needs a spankin’.”

To this demand I usually reply, “Really?” 

“Yesh”, he affirms, with a determinative head nod.

“O.K. Nate”, is my general response while I continue with work, reading, cleaning, watching television, sleeping or some other task I am involved in.

Then Nate will leave the room just as determined as when he enters and sings, “Daaaaddddy, Mommy NEEDS you!”  Apparently, this is Nate’s way of saying, “You are in big trouble and going to get a spanking.”  Gotta say, I love how diplomatic he has become, signs of true leadership.

Now I must disclose that I do not reprimand my husband or anyone else (usually) at Nate’s demands.  Yet somehow this doesn’t seem to phase his understanding of our leadership dynamic.

As my father puts it, “Kim, that boy thinks he is the boss.”  Then my father follows this observation with, “Doesn’t he know I am the boss.”

Can you see the family dynamic, my father who is 64-years-young versus my son who is two-years-old, starring each other down like the gun fight at O.K. Corral.  What I can’t figure out is how either one missed the fact that I AM THE BOSS!  Really guys, you know Mommy calls the shots.

By now you should be realizing a sad truth, Narcissism is born NOT made.  It is a truly genetic trait passed down from generation to generation.  Of course a true narcissist will say, those two are crazy and I am the only normal one….NO TRUER STATEMENT AS BEEN SPOKEN (if I say so myself.)

On the occasions that I have done something to meet Nate’s disapproval he will go as far as to give me a spanking.   Of course this is all in jest, he will pretend to chastise me and I will pretend to be very upset. 

At two feet something inches, this miniature person who speaks in toddler speak is soooo entertaining.  Even when he is being so impossible, which usually occurs every Thursday morning when I am trying to make an 8:00 am class, his big smile and eyes will make you forget the fact that he takes his shoes and socks off just as you are walking out the door.

However, it is this one phrase that gave me cause to pause.  “Ohhhhhh, Ariana said ‘Ed-words’.”   At first I didn’t give much consideration to what he was saying.  The hallmark of a working mother, sometimes I can’t process everything.

Then finally I had to ask, “What is ‘Ed-words’?”

I gathered from our discussions they were bad words like “Stupid” and “Stinky Poo-Poo Diaper”, which is his favorite stinger for whoever happened to be on the hit list.  But I still didn’t know what on earth “Ed-words” stood for.

Finally my interpreter, Ariana, kindly informed me what he was truly saying.

“F-WORDS!”

“What!” Where did my two-year-old learn that F-words were bad words?  He doesn’t even know what an F is; or does he? 

Then I recalled six months earlier while we were preparing Nate to enter pre-school, we warned that he must begin using his words.  Two weeks before school began he began to talk. 

A glass of milk dropped on the floor and Nate exclaimed, “Awwww *uck!”   I knew I hadn’t heard him right; I didn’t hear him right the first three times he said it.  By the end of the week I knew he was cursing something he learned from the older boys at his in home daycare. .

For two weeks we constantly admonished, “Nate, no ‘F-words’.”   We broke him of the habit, but now six months later he is chastising ALL of us for saying ‘Ed-words’ whatever they may be!  

~ Working Mother