Usually I look forward to stolen moments with my daughter. Most of our bonding time is what one would expect for a six-year-old; we might watch a movie, enjoy shopping, or talking about her friends and life in the first grade; nothing too serious. This is our girl time; our moments with JUST THE GIRLS!
So imagine my surprise when one day, while driving around town, Ariana happened to riffle through my glove compartment. Having the ultimate lady car I had tampons and other feminine products, for EMERGENCIES stowed away. Ariana so aptly held up the yellow wrapped stick and said, “Mom, what is this?”
Mortified at the image of this little girl, holding up a lady stick in its bright yellow wrapping, while doing 65 mph down the highway, an embarrass mom hurriedly ordered her to “put IT back!”
Of course this begged more questions. “But Mom, what is it?” Her curiosity peaked and I could see there was no way around answering the question.
Now I had to figure out how to explain this item and its purpose with a six-year-old. My head, now swirling, began to orchestrate this grand conversation. First I would start with the basics. Then my mind quickly jumped to the dreaded question, “Where do babies come from?” Suddenly panic struck and I realized I WAS NOT READY for this conversation. Where is the mommy manual?
Holding back my fears, I began explaining to Ariana, that once a month a woman has a personal time in her life where she menstruates. Sparing the details I simply described the experience. My astute daughter looked at me, taking in this new information, scrunched up her nose and said, “that is SOOOOO WEIRD.”
As the wheels in her mind turned, she realized her mommy is a woman. So naturally she asks if I had this experience every month. I realized that for Ariana this is the age were her mind is beginning to unlock and pay attention to her surroundings. Taking account of the many times Ariana invaded my private moments, it’s a wonder how she never stumbled across this fact earlier. Any mother can tell you privacy goes out the window when you have children. For example, unless my children are asleep, I most assuredly have to settle some pressing dispute while I am soaking in the bath tub.
As our discussion progressed, I explained to Ariana that little girls, such as herself, develop into women. In the process they undergo a number of changes which make them look more like women. I asked her if she knew what those changes were. She guessed the essentials: breasts. I chose to end the discussion at that point, before she could figure out the ultimate baby question or continued to pepper the discussion with the dreaded, “Why” which could potentially lead me down the road I didn’t want to travel.
Instantly a new fear flooded over me! What if she tells her friends? How mortified would their parents be? I could see it now, being called into the principal’s office to discuss the sex education classes my daughter was teaching at recess.
Scrambling once again, I cautioned her not to share this new found information with any of her friends, warning her that their mommies must have GIRL TIME with them and share this special information, just like I was sharing with her. I also instructed her to come to me with any questions she might have. It’s important to me that my daughter knows she can always talk to me about anything for two reasons: I don’t want her being misinformed by anyone other than me, and I want to know what’s on her mind.
She smiled, agreed and we ended part one of “THE TALK.” It wasn’t so bad. I was glad to have bonding time with my daughter.
A few weeks later, she sat next to me, like a little lady, with her legs crossed, hand on her chin, and she started the conversation off as such, “So, you know what we were talking about in the car? You know, with the yellow thing?”
“Yes, I remember”, I replied.
“Well”, she said smiling, “I like talking to you about that. It’s our secret right mom, JUST THE GIRLS!” she stated while beaming.
“Yes Ariana, JUST THE GIRLS!”
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