Is it wrong to feel absolutely relieved to be without my kids for three days? I know mothers that would struggle privately with the idea that being away from their children for an extended weekend is heavenly bliss; being so concerned that others might presume they are heartless, cold, and selfish to want alone time. I know few men who would feel the same.
I take a different approach. MOMMY BURN OUT is real! On this trip I had moments of quiet solitude; despite being on a business trip. There were moments, in my hotel room, when I could sleep without a two-year-old sitting on my head. I drew a bath and actually had a quiet moment where I could read without my six-year-old daughter fabricating an emergency that would require her to sit tub-side and explain the nuisances of life as a first grader.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to partake in the daily adventures of my children. And yes, any one that knows me can attest that I am the annoying mother with the super bright, genius children that already manifest destinies of being rocket scientists and world class musicians. However, there are times in my life when I must remind myself that I am woman with an identity separate from my family; and, that is okay.
While seeking an adventure in Portland; whose motto is “Keep Portland Weird”, I discovered some weird tendencies of my own. For example, while on a trip with five other adults I found myself nagging my colleague, who took vacation eating to a new level. Let’s just say I am surprised no one was rushed to the hospital in a diabetical coma. Or, my constant reminders that everyone wear jackets in 30 degree, bone chilling weather and snow! Yes, my nickname was mother. So much for being the free thinking independent modern woman I once was.
I would most certainly be remised if I didn’t own up to waking at 4:30 am, expecting my son to sneak in to my bed. My comfort, in the wee hours of the morning were my small IPod video clips of both my daughter and son at play. Am I really that MOM? Is there a Modern Mom? Aren’t Moms just Moms? And, is there anything wrong with that?
In fact, when I returned, I noticed how my son, in three days is communicating better and is more independent. Could it be? Can he survive without me? The nerve! How dare these kids NOT cry everyday while I was gone! Why didn’t they miss me as much as I missed them?
Yet despite my own personal breakdown, physically I am refreshed. I feel energy and the shopping bags under my eyes have downgraded to coin purses. I am happy to be home, to hug and kiss my babies; and I love the idea that I wanted them more then they needed me. That is the true mark of a Modern Mommy, equipping your children to survive without you. I am sure if I never came home my six-year-old and two-year-old would miss me. But, the idea that there were no mental melt downs for the three days I was away says much about their character. I’ll share credit for that with my husband. We work hard to train them to think rationally and enjoy their lives. I am grateful to see this coming through.
~ Modern Mommy!
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